How to be a shitty McDonald's customer

Oh christ, where to start?

In general

In no particular order:

Bitch about the "slow speed" of relatively fast service.
Utter the phrase at any time "I thought this was supposed to be fast food."
Totally redesign your sandwiches. Taking off a thing here or there is one thing, but don't become Thomas Fucking Edison and redesign your entire sandwich experience from the ground up. If you want big mac sauce, order a fucking big mac, you cheap motherfucker.
Have a huge order with each sandwich made specially. Here's a thought, why don't you let your kid try a fucking cheeseburger regular, and see if he really doesn't like pickles?
Bring your kid to McDonald's after a sane children's bed time and get him or her a Happy Meal.

In no particular order:

Do something which slows drive thru down.
Complain about slow drive thru times.
Do something which slows drive thru down AND complain about drive thru times.
Hand me a wad of cash that I have to unfold to see if you've stiffed me or not. Seriously, they sell wallets at fucking Wal Mart, go get one.
Take a couple minutes to yourself to collect your thoughts at the order box. Go ahead, that line of cars behind you isn't going anywhere.
Take your sweetass time finding exact change. Listen, I understand the idea behind exact change; you don't want to get a bunch of change in return. However, if it takes you 60 seconds to find the exact change, then by definition you do not have a "too much change" problem. Just gimme the $20 and I'll give you your change in about 9 seconds.
Have anyone but the driver order. No really, I can hear them perfectly well over your shitty car's engine, the other people chatting in the car, and the radio you didn't turn off.
Have a shitty loud car.
Have a broken door such that the window won't roll down. Seriously folks, park your heap of shit and go inside.
Have more than 2 orders in your car. go inside.
No, fuck that. Have more than 1 order in your car. Seriously, learn to do simple fucking subtraction.
Let your child order. Really, nothing is cuter then a six year old shouting at the top of their lungs multiple sandwhichs and answering questions they really don't know the answer to.

In no particular order:

Stare at the menu for a good 5 minutes while not moving aside so the lobbyful of people behind you can order. Seriously, it's the 90% the same menu for about 20 years now.
throw french fries at your friends. Fucking teenagers. Actually this isn't that big of a deal. It's the sauces that piss me off.
Leave your tray out there. Don't worry, our crack team of busboys will take care of that, you fucking lazy slob.