OH SHIT BROKE MY MAGNUM IN HALF
From Bellybuttonporn
December 20, 2007 Leaving work one friday at the beginning of November, I was a bit excited and lit 'em up. I thought I was about 10 feet to the right of the giant dip created by a storm drain in the center, but I was right on top of it. Total retardation.
I heard what I can only describe as the sound of a ton of bricks falling out the back end of my car and coasted to a stop. I figured I just hit the dip and the wheels hopped off the ground, and that was it. I looked down and noticed the transmission was in neutral. Ahhh, that explains the coasting. I put it into gear and hear a slow and steady sound of metal grinding.
Freaking out that I tore a damn wheel off or something, I jumped out and checked out the back end of my car. My expert math skills deduced that there were 1+1=2 wheels on the back, so I poked my head under and couldn't see any damage. Of course, it was getting dark and the underside of my car wasn't any brighter.
I swallowed my pride, opened my glovebox and got the towing assistance card out. I called up Chrysler and played dumb. They sent out a flatbed truck for my car (it's low enough that towing with a standard rig is guaranteed to destroy the front or rear fascia). Decker's sent a standard truck. Luckily he had dollies with him.
We had some fun getting my car hooked. He'd back the grabber bar up to touch my front wheels aaaaaaand it'd roll back a foot. Yep: no drivetrain means no Park gear. I got in and held the brakes while he hooked up.
He towed my car over to Benson's, which was the closest dodge dealer. A couple of my friends picked me up and we went to dinner to cool off after the incident.
The next morning I called up and the news was that I snapped a half axle like a twig. It'd take about a week to get one from Chrysler. How in the hell can I get a hard drive from singapore in 4 days, but a chunk of metal from detroit takes a week?
I inquire about a loaner since I was sorta boned. Well, the news was, Benson's doesn't do loaners. They do, however, have a deal with Enterprise whereby I can get a rental car (has to be a chrysler product) as close to my car as possible from their on-hand inventory.
I pout a little and ask what they reserved for me, remembering rows of bright gleaming PT Cruisers parked out front every time I drive by.
"Hmm..." he says, "looks like they have a Charger on hand. It's an '08. That gonna work?"
Yeah, I think so.
I went to pick it up. It had about 200 miles on it and smelled like new car. As a rental it was the lowest trim-level and a V6 (don't know if it was the bigger or smaller V6, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and guess bigger). Despite the bottom-of-the-line trim level, the '08s have an upgraded interior and I was jealous. This thing had soft armrests and a few other refinements that my car (top trim level 07) lacked. Aside from that and the strange not-a-key-keyfob it was so similar to my car that often I'd hit the gas expecting it to be there, only to be reminded that it was, indeed, not.
I drove the charger around for about a week. Sadly, I notice dudes checking out the magnum. Chicks check out the charger. C'mon, groceries!
They get the half axle, put it in, and make sure the transmission isn't also hosed. Everything appears good and I pick my car back up. I missed my CDs, but damn the aux jack was handy on the charger.
As I was waiting for the paperwork to finish up I wandered into the sales floor. A manager tracked me down and frantically tried getting me to sign the papers for the repair. I was pretty cautious because I was short on money and I wanted to be sure of exactly how much they were going to charge me for this learning experience.
I checked the papers over and over while he watched. "Just sign on the bottom, sir."
Diagnostic. Parts. Labor.
Total ?
"I can't find on here how much this costs, am I signing for any money?" He gave me the best "What the hell are you smoking?" look I've ever seen.
"No, sir, everything's covered under the warranty."
