Okay, here's what happened
From Bellybuttonporn
Okay, so we were over at her friend Jonathan's place hanging out. We were trying out those new Mt Dew flavors, so she would open the bottle and pour it out into glasses so we could all try it. She was on the couch, I was on the loveseat.
She opened a new bottle and I walked over to have my cup refilled. While standing there in front of her sitting on the couch, she reached out with the empty pop bottle and playfully tapped me in the crotch and said something like "nut shot!" or something cute. Whatever. She happened to get a lucky shot, and managed to hurt me pretty good.
I reached out and gave her a little slap on the face.
Whoops. It happened very fast. Like a reflex. She hit my nuts, and my hand shot out to retaliate. I didn't think about it before-hand, and I certainly didn't wind up and give her a big official pimp-slap. Now, I could have slapped her harder than I wanted. Like I said, it was just a reflex and nothing I really did on purpose. And as for hitting her in the face, well, I think that was a coincidence. She was sitting and I was standing, so that's where my hand went.
After I did that, she said something like "that hurt!" and I stood there and they stared at me like I was some sort of monster. Jonathan started in on the whole "you don't hit women, dude!" shtick. As if I hadn't ever heard that before?
Well, my nuts hurt pretty bad so I went to sit down. She was silent, and Jonathan was still talking. I didn't want to argue about it, and I certainly didn't want to apologize for hitting her back.
You don't ever hit a woman!
Fuck that. I believe in equality. If you hit me, I might hit you back. How about this for a better rule:
You don't ever hit...anyone!
The aftermath
She went home without saying a word. I didn't chase after her, because that's so lame and juvenile. I called her after she left and told her I'm not going to run up there and pound on the door and beg for forgiveness because she's got a roommate. I went home to my place. The next day I called several times offering to take her out for lunch (then later dinner) so we could talk about it. I think it's pretty chickenshit to apologize over the phone, so I wanted to talk.
Finally, around 10pm I gave up and drove over to her place to talk in person. Her roommate lied and said she wasn't home. Of course she was. I didn't make a big deal out of it; obviously she didn't want to see me and there's no point in forcing the issue. I went downstairs to see if Jonathan was home (he lives in the same building), and he said he'd talked to her earlier. I said thanks and left. On the drive home I called and left her a voicemail apologizing. I didn't want to do it over the phone, and certainly not over voicemail, but if she won't talk to me, that's all I had left.
Later that night she got online to tell me she never wanted to talk to me again. We talked a bit. I think she was acting pretty irrationally based on a few of the things she said and decisions she made. I didn't really want to lose the relationship we were building, but a part of me was sorta happy to see her go. I really liked her, but if she was going give me the silent treatment every time we have an argument or something bad happens, then fuck that attitude. That's so immature.
So she didn't want to be with someone that hit women. Now let's back up a minute. That's a very loaded word phrase; "hit women". It implies that I do it all the time, or that I think it's OK, or whatever. Certainly not a label I appreciate after accidentally hitting her on the cheek after she wailed on my nuts. I'm not a woman-beater. I resent the accusation.
I apologized. Not for striking her in the first place. I don't think I did anything wrong there. It was an accident. She didn't purposefully hit my nuts (though she did happen to pick a bad place to playfully hit me with a bottle) and I didn't purposefully hit her back. She didn't need to apologize to me for it, and I didn't need to apologize to her for it. I apologized because I didn't immediately say I was sorry for hitting her harder than I wanted to. I apologized for not talking about it right away. That's what I had to be sorry for.
It really is a sucky situation. We had a lot in common and a lot of fun together. I think we could have built a nice relationship in time. The few weeks we had were really special. She was a hell of a lot cooler than a lot of people I know, and I'll miss her company.
