Omaha
From Bellybuttonporn
Facts about Omaha:
- Omaha has more restaurants than people. Every residential area is near at least a dozen strip malls, and each strip mall has about 10 restaurants.
- Omaha doesn't care for fuel economy. When the light turns green, if you're not at 60mph within 4.9 seconds, get out of the fucking way.
- In omaha you have to do at least 45 on any surface street, but if you happen to get onto the Interstate, whoa! Slow down there, pal. This isn't a race.
- Omaha's radio is great if you love commercials, Van Halen, and Nickelback. It is truely world-class.
- I live near everything. Grocery stores, restaurants, the freeway (see first point).
- I work near everything too. Same deal.
- Nebraska charges property tax on your car when you renew your plates, so it's always super expensive.
- Nebraska will ticket you if you live in Nebraska and don't have Nebraska plates. Those greedy fucks.
- Nebraskan utilities are very foolish. They will hook anything you want up without prepayment or any proof you can actually pay. The fools!
- Omaha is very unimaginitive when it comes to naming streets. Here's how to get to my apartment:
- Get off of I80 on L street.
- Turn right on 108th street.
- Turn left on Q street.
- Turn right on 99th street.
- Turn right on U street.
- Turn right on R street.
- Turn left on T Plaza.
- I'm not fucking kidding.
